Being Based Relating

Applying the higher-consciousness of mindfulness in daily relationships

 

“Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is our only chance of survival as a race.  This will affect every aspect of your life and close relationships in particular… Your current state of consciousness is the best indicator of your future… Being spiritual has nothing to do with what you believe and everything to do with your state of consciousness.” – Eckhart Tolle

We are at an inflection point. This is a time of great collective distress, as well as being a time of great emerging potential. There is an expansion of human consciousness occurring to meet these challenges and opportunities.

All relationships are rapidly becoming the leading-edge domain to support, and participate with this unprecedented evolution of humankind.

Relationships informed and inspired by the next stages of human consciousnesses are needed now more than ever before. 

 

~~~~~~~~~~

“Relationship is the quick path.” – Chogyam Trungpa
“There is almost a sensual longing for communion with others who have a large vision. The immense fulfillment of the friendship between those engaged in furthering the evolution of consciousness has a quality impossible to describe.” – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
“It’s the quality of your close relationships that matters.”   – From a 75-year Harvard Study on leading a fulfilling life
(From the link: What the study revealed is this: The 1 secret to leading a fulfilling life doesn’t depend on your 401(k), whether you have a huge group of friends and go out every weekend, or if you’re in a romantic relationship. It’s the quality of the relationships–how much vulnerability and depth exists within them; how safe you feel sharing with one another; the extent to which you can relax and be seen for who you truly are, and truly see another.)

~~~~~~~~~~

 

 BeingBasedRelating meets these challenges and opportunities providing access to resources and practices to relate more from Presence or Being; and less from unexamined ego/mind and habitual personality.

Subscribe to our Newsletter & Receive our Free White Paper

  • This field is for validation purposes and should be left unchanged.
Being-Based Relating: “The
Four Stages of Intimate Relationships”

Excerpt from the White Paper: This stage of orienting to intimate relationships informed by self-actualization marks an emergence of a “jump” or “shift” in the overall consciousness, and awareness of orienting around a deeper “why” we are drawn to intimate relationships. Sex, love, and relationship from this stage forward is, increasingly, much more intentional, less habitual. Such shared intention can result in more spontaneous joy; and when in distress, being more resourced and resilient.

Although at this stage we know ourselves to be beyond previous stages, we do not look down upon them and do not even want to, for we are choosing increasing witnessing and intimacy with all our attributes, however dark or immature or unappealing. We recognize that all the qualities that characterize earlier stages of relational intimacy are, to whatever degree, part of us. We cultivate radical acceptance of ourselves, the most potent catalyst to allow for change and growth.

We see we are growing beyond the, “What’s in it for me,” drives, we long for more unification; and we become quite interested in what’s good for our partner, and for the relationship. A higher aspect of intimacy not bound by behavior or role-playing reveals itself. And, increasingly freed from the energy draining and consuming aspects of unexamined behavior and role-playing; the innate life giving energies of sexual-love can flourish.

We are “getting” we are not our attachment-styles, unconscious behaviors, nor even our personalities. Accessing a more authentic Being-based sense-of-self, whether through consciousness work or spiritual work becomes part of our world-view. The journey of Awakening, and our relationship to a larger coherent field of consciousness all begin to matter.

Subtle ongoing and positive influences on our day-to-day sense-of-self increasingly arise without effort. For example, the common orientations of desires to be loved and understood shift and update to developing highly functional synergies of experiential alignment and resonance. Sure, love and understanding are still there, but they are included and transcended as the synergies that result from what each partners consciousness’ are contributing to creating a sum that is much greater than their parts as individuals. We see with gratitude and appreciation that safety-and-security and transactional relationships cannot hold a candle to this emerging dynamic. This synergy reveals itself as healthier biology, higher innate intelligence, increased access to grounded useful intuition, and a profound well-being and peace that is sourced from within. As these psychic, subtle, and causal energies continue to arise organically, the recognition of the relationship as a health and consciousness generative engine whose output far exceeds what the individuals bring separately, is, once seen and experienced, “a multi-dimensional pearl beyond any price.”  What is even more remarkable, once these energies are activated and stabilized, even if the relationship transitions or ends, these energies once awoken and stabilized, are not dependent on the continuity of the relationship. In other words through intimate relationships at this stage of self-actualization and beyond, there is a potential for psycho-spiritual transformation that is otherwise not so available, if perhaps not available at all. Hence the old saying that, “relationships can make us better people,” this clearly begins to take on a whole new context that shifts from the traditional to the transcendent.

Partnering at this stage is driven to connect Being-to-Being, to share Presence. Intimacy can thrive supported by personal responsibility.  Intimacy increasingly becomes a tool to support the Awakening of consciousness that includes and transcends an egoic sense of self. Non-monogamous urges, when they show-up, simply matter as truth. There is simply no interest in withholding information. Betrayal has all but ceased to exist; the motivations to withhold, so common at previous stages, holds little or no attention. Far and away from agreements or virtues, what matters is alignment with reality – a core tenet in the science of Awakening. Truth, trust, and transparency are not held as values, they are what hold our attention and what interests us.

Long term unions here are powerful and life-changing as both increased sexual capacity and higher-levels of consciousness and heartfelt love are awoken and stabilized. The “connection” between sexuality and spirituality adds lasting vitality and aliveness to the experience of sex and love.

If lasting relationship upset does occur, maintaining mutual regard and mutual respect are big priorities. Consciously “de-coupling” with a huge emphasis on compassion (without care-taking) can be a natural choice and a place of shared power and care.

About BeingBasedRelating

Coaching, counseling, practices, and courses focus on developing an evolving self based more in awareness, immediate insight, and direct experience; and less in conditioned egoic patterns.

At once artful and potent: Developing self-actualization and opening up emotional-intelligence (EQ) can be strengthened when coupled with higher-consciousness practices such as meditation and mindfulness that access an Awareness based sense-of-self or Being consciousness. Psychological work in conjunction with spiritual practice, psycho-spiritual approaches as such, are the leading edge approaches to support robust personal growth and spiritual development.

 Such adult-development fuels growth oriented approaches to address life’s most significant challenges, as well as offering reliable paths to realize our deepest longings and aspirations.

  • Family Systems and conflict resolution

  • Parenting & co-parenting & single parenting

  • Intimate relationship & attachment skills (traditional, non-traditional, LGBTQ, & ethical non-monogamy)

  • Conscious de-coupling & divorce

  • Deepening a sense of community and friendships

  • Workplace emotional-intelligence (EQ) – leadership and team building

 Methodologies apply proven psycho-spiritual and transpersonal resources and practices (“trans”personal – includes and transcends the personal sense-of-self).

This is a sense-of-self imbued with self-awareness, responsive situational awareness, open-hearted emotional availability, more ease with complexity and multiple perspectives, less fear, as well as steadiness in resolving conflict.

In the workplace or external world: this broader sense-of-self is creative, resourceful, and resilient… On a personal level: such relational competence is healing and restorative, as well as a root source of profound well-being in our shared internal worlds of heartfelt love with family, friends, and partners.

BeingBasedRelating offers individual or couples counseling & coaching, small business & EQ team coaching, online courses, and presentations.


“The quality of life that is accessible via self-actualization and emotional-intelligence work in conjunction with accessing the potentials of our higher-consciousness is universal, built-in, a birthright even. Yet as a society we are still at a point where such empirical resources are not easily seen or readily available. Such was the case for me 25 years ago were I was at a place of great challenge choosing to whole-heartedly take on 50/50 single parenting of a newborn and not knowing where to start, and I had just lost a lifetime airline pilot retirement after 20 years with the airline due to Wall-Street shenanigans capitalizing on post 9/11 airline bankruptcies. There were multiple deaths as well, my father whom was my best friend, and a beloved sister taken too soon by cancer, I was with them both to the end. Newborn single-parenting challenges that brought joy – and a lot of fear; loss with deaths, financial rupture, and collapsed career outcomes: the compounding fear and pain was paralyzing at times. A way-of-life and family I had known and counted on for my identity was no longer there. Depression, anxiety, and despair were omni-present. Leaning into self-reliance and personal responsibility, I was open to traditional counseling for support. Meanwhile through my meditation practice I became aware of a little known approach to address life’s challenges, and that was to enact the latent potentials of self-actualization and emotional-intelligence in conjunction with higher-consciousness work. “When there is no way out, there’s always a way through,” as paraphrased from many self-actualization and spiritual teachers. This is an approach that engages challenges not as problems, but recognizing that growth and even empirical consciousness development are powerful paths to grow through fear and pain more so than treatment, all the while keeping a keen eye on traditional mental health work as needed. Including and transcending maturity per se, little by little I became aware of what I now know to be the lifetime path of adult-development (if one so chooses). This is not a “flight to the light” and the feel good spiritual bypassing so common in organized spirituality, but rather using fear and pain as a searing furnace to stabilize self-actualization and even open to self-realization (the Maslow equivalence of spiritual Awakening). Developing competency to see the hidden signals in fear and pain and expand perception to use these otherwise impossible experiences and feelings as fuel for growth. Participating with and fully experiencing profound disturbances and loss rather than being swept along. A sort of “fail forward” approach arose for me where, with the help of some fine professionals in my transpersonal graduate work who pulled me through periods of kicking and screaming, I saw life does begin at the edge of our comfort zone. Grateful, inspired, and amazed with what our human potential is for healing, growth, and even spiritual Awakening; I committed to adult-development work as a professional. And as life-changing as this work is for the individual; this is much more than personal growth and personal spiritual development work. Indeed, many consciousness researchers, theorists, and spiritual teachers see that when humanity reaches a critical mass of people embracing this work; a coherent, sensitive and potent intelligence will begin to permeate the world to enact needed change. Literally the evolution of human consciousness that is needed at the inflection point the world is at now. It was actually that global consideration that really tipped me into this work and away from aviation. In this work, we are being “the change.” Throughout, as a potent corollary, all my core relationships and those of clients have deepened, and the ability to handle complexities opened up as never before. I absolutley attribute this to the activation of our higher human potentials that perceives self and other more clearly and “knows how” to relate authentically with heart and power. Hence the brand here, BeingBasedRelating. Today I am a dedicated messenger to support clients in locating their innate higher potentials to activate their built-in cosmic blueprints for self-actualization, emotional-intelligence, and even the Awakening of higher-consciousness. Inner resources that self-organize and are self-authenticating when well supported. I can say with great professional confidence as well as personal experience, we are all the best experts on ourselves once we align with these self-evident truths. There is nothing I can say or do with a client that they don’t already know on some level; yet I can bring empirical psycho-spiritual approaches and best practice to support clients where the past gives-way and what’s emerging has yet to stabilize and thrive.” – Chris Menné MA Transpersonal Psychology

Rates, and methods applied are available here.


Contact

email: chris@beingbasedrelating.com

 Schedule a free no obligation inquiry/consultation with Chris here.


To experience aspects of relating more from Presence and Being and less from ego in a group setting, BeingBasedRelating also hosts, “Sharing the Witness.” Regularly scheduled Conscious Relating Practice Groups held in person and online.