Being Based Relating

Applying the higher-consciousness of mindfulness in daily relationships

 

“Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is our only chance of survival as a race.  This will affect every aspect of your life and close relationships in particular… Your current state of consciousness is the best indicator of your future… Being spiritual has nothing to do with what you believe and everything to do with your state of consciousness.” – Eckhart Tolle

We are at an inflection point. This is a time of great collective distress, as well as being a time of great emerging potential. There is an expansion of human consciousness occurring to meet these challenges and opportunities.

All relationships are rapidly becoming the leading-edge domain to support, and participate with this unprecedented evolution of humankind.

Relationships informed and inspired by the next stages of human consciousnesses are needed now more than ever before. 

 

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“Relationship is the quick path.” – Chogyam Trungpa
“There is almost a sensual longing for communion with others who have a large vision. The immense fulfillment of the friendship between those engaged in furthering the evolution of consciousness has a quality impossible to describe.” – Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
“It’s the quality of your close relationships that matters.”   – From a 75-year Harvard Study on leading a fulfilling life
(From the link: What the study revealed is this: The 1 secret to leading a fulfilling life doesn’t depend on your 401(k), whether you have a huge group of friends and go out every weekend, or if you’re in a romantic relationship. It’s the quality of the relationships–how much vulnerability and depth exists within them; how safe you feel sharing with one another; the extent to which you can relax and be seen for who you truly are, and truly see another.)

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 BeingBasedRelating meets these challenges and opportunities providing access to resources and practices to relate more from Presence or Being; and less from unexamined ego/mind and habitual personality.

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Excerpts from the White Paper – “The Four Stages of Intimate Relationships”

There are well-understood, but little-known stages of how we connect to and inhabit the impulse of sexual-love and emotional attachment. These are briefly described throughout this paper. Notice in your life and in society at large how these “stages” have shown-up and continue to show-up. Notice also that the “objective” or “aspiration” of each relationship stage is the starting assemblage or platform of the next level, these aspirations are italicized.

First Stage: “Me-Centered” and often co-dependent:

  • Basis for connection: Agreement and Security. Maintain Group Beliefs.
  • Social orientation: Traditional.
  • Orientation to awakening from mainstream consciousness: Asleep Alone.
  • Abraham Maslow: Safety, Security, Belonging.
  • Robert Kegan: 2nd and 3rd Order of Consciousness.
  • Spiral Dynamics: 1st Tier – Blue Meme.

Second Stage: “Us-Centered” and often co-independent:

  • Basis for connection: Perceived Value and Compromise. Enhance the Status-quo.
  • Social Orientation: Modern.
  • Orientation to awakening from mainstream consciousness: Asleep Together.
  • Abraham Maslow: Self-Esteem.
  • Robert Kegan: 4rd Order Consciousness.
  • Spiral Dynamics: 1st Tier – Orange Meme.

Important: In the Third and Fourth Stage are an increasingly shared and self-evident truth-based context, and an increasingly common self-authenticating language of how consciousness or spirit is experienced in life and in sexual-love. With adequate attention and shared practice, rich emotions and satisfying depth sexual experiences can arise Simultaneously, intentional shared practice to release from unexamined conditioning and unconsciousness is almost always crucial to embrace – otherwise old conditioning and unconsciousness often “co-opt” gains made in higher-consciousness realizations and spiritual love. However, if lasting relationship upset does occur, maintaining mutual regard and mutual respect, although not always available, are big mutual priorities. Unfortunately, real comprehensive support to address both opportunities and challenges associated with transitioning out of the previous paradigms, to clear the way to robustly inhabit this rich larger paradigm is still rare. Our work meets this need. This is a core offering of coaching, counseling, and programs offered through BeingBasedRelating.

Third Stage: “Being-Centered” and often experiencing healthy differentiation (As related to this Paper’s Title: “Being-based relating – and the four stages of intimate relationships.” )

  • Basis for connection: Growth and Alignment. Supporting discovery of internal alignments – and discovering where authentic alignments are shared.
  • Social Orientation: Post-Modern or New-Age.
  • Orientation to awakening from mainstream consciousness: Waking-up Together.
  • Abraham Maslow: Self-Actualization, opening to Self-Realization.
  • Robert Kegan: 5rd Order Consciousness.
  • Spiral Dynamics: 1st Tier – Green Meme, opening to 2nd Tier – Yellow Meme.

 Fourth Stage: Spiritual or “Source-Based” and often experiencing healthy autonomy.

  • Basis for connection: Resonance with Shared Alignments. Sharing resonance with Universal Truths of Consciousness.
  • Social Orientation: Transformative, Contributory, Unifying.
  • Orientation to awakening from mainstream consciousness: Waking-up Together with the Whole.
  • Abraham Maslow: Self-Realization opening, to Self-Transcendence.
  • Robert Kegan: Post 5th Order Consciousness.
  • Spiral Dynamics: 2nd Tier – Yellow Meme, opening to Turquoise Meme.

About BeingBasedRelating

Coaching, counseling, practices, and courses focus on developing an evolving self based more in awareness, immediate insight, and direct experience; and less in conditioned egoic patterns.

At once artful and potent: Developing self-actualization where reality is experienced more effficently, and opening up emotional-intelligence (EQ) where skillful awareness of your emotions and others emotions imbues interactions with more success; both of these learned growth competencies can be enhanced when coupled with higher-consciousness practices such as meditation and mindfulness that access an Awareness based sense-of-self or Being consciousness. Psychological work in conjunction with spiritual practice, psycho-spiritual approaches as such, are the leading edge approaches to support robust personal growth and spiritual development.

 Such adult-development fuels growth oriented approaches to address life’s most significant challenges, as well as offering reliable paths to realize our deepest longings and aspirations.

  • Family Systems and conflict resolution

  • Parenting & co-parenting & single parenting 

  • Single relationship coaching 

  • Intimate relationship & attachment skills (traditional, non-traditional, LGBTQ, & ethical non-monogamy)

  • Conscious de-coupling & divorce

  • Deepening a sense of community and friendships

  • Workplace emotional-intelligence (EQ) – leadership and team building

 Methodologies apply proven psycho-spiritual and transpersonal resources and practices (“trans”personal – includes and transcends the personal sense-of-self).

This is a sense-of-self imbued with sharp present-moment situational awareness, an open-hearted emotional availability, more ease with complexity and multiple perspectives, less fear, as well as steadiness in resolving conflict.

In the workplace or external world: this broader sense-of-self is creative, resourceful, and resilient… On a personal level: such relational competence is healing and restorative, as well as a root source of profound well-being in our shared internal worlds of heartfelt love with family, friends, and partners.

BeingBasedRelating offers individual or couples counseling & coaching, small business & EQ team coaching, online courses, and presentations.

“The quality of life that is accessible via self-actualization and emotional-intelligence work in conjunction with accessing the potentials of our higher-consciousness is universal, built-in, a birthright even. Yet as a society we are still at a point where such empirical resources are not easily seen or readily available. Such was the case for me 25 years ago were I was at a place of great challenge choosing to whole-heartedly take on 50/50 single parenting of a newborn and not knowing where to start, and I had just lost a lifetime airline pilot retirement after 20 years with the airline due to Wall-Street shenanigans capitalizing on post 9/11 airline bankruptcies. There were multiple deaths as well, my father whom was my best friend, and a beloved sister taken too soon by cancer, I was with them both to the end. Newborn single-parenting challenges that brought joy – and a lot of fear; loss with deaths, financial rupture, and collapsed career outcomes: the compounding fear and pain was paralyzing at times. A way-of-life and family I had known and counted on for my identity was no longer there. Depression, anxiety, and despair were omni-present. Leaning into self-reliance and personal responsibility, I was open to traditional counseling for support. Meanwhile through my meditation practice I became aware of a little known approach to address life’s challenges, and that was to enact the latent potentials of self-actualization and emotional-intelligence in conjunction with higher-consciousness work. “When there is no way out, there’s always a way through,” as paraphrased from many self-actualization and spiritual teachers. This is an approach that engages challenges not as problems, but recognizing that growth and even empirical consciousness development are powerful paths to grow through fear and pain more so than treatment, all the while keeping a keen eye on traditional mental health work as needed. Including and transcending maturity per se, little by little I became aware of what I now know to be the lifetime path of adult-development (if one so chooses). This is not a “flight to the light” and the feel good spiritual bypassing so common in organized spirituality, but rather using fear and pain as a searing furnace to stabilize self-actualization and even open to self-realization (the Maslow equivalence of spiritual Awakening). Developing competency to see the hidden signals in fear and pain and expand perception to use these otherwise impossible experiences and feelings as fuel for growth. Participating with and fully experiencing profound disturbances and loss rather than being swept along. A sort of “fail forward” approach arose for me where, with the help of some fine professionals in my transpersonal graduate work who pulled me through periods of kicking and screaming, I saw life does begin at the edge of our comfort zone. Grateful, inspired, and amazed with what our human potential is for healing, growth, and even spiritual Awakening; I committed to adult-development work as a professional. And as life-changing as this work is for the individual; this is much more than personal growth and personal spiritual development work. Indeed, many consciousness researchers, theorists, and spiritual teachers see that when humanity reaches a critical mass of people embracing this work; a coherent, sensitive and potent intelligence will begin to permeate the world to enact needed change. Literally the evolution of human consciousness that is needed at the inflection point the world is at now. It was actually that global consideration that really tipped me into this work and away from aviation. In this work, we are being “the change.” Throughout, as a potent corollary, all my core relationships and those of clients have deepened; and with relationship challenges, the ability to handle complexities opened up as never before. I absolutley attribute this to the activation of our higher human potentials that perceives self and other more clearly and “knows how” to relate authentically with heart and power. Hence the brand here, BeingBasedRelating. Today I am a commited messenger to support clients in locating their innate higher potentials to activate their built-in cosmic blueprints for self-actualization, emotional-intelligence, and even the Awakening of higher-consciousness. Inner resources that self-organize and are self-authenticating when well supported. I can say with great professional confidence as well as personal experience, we are all the best experts on ourselves once we align with these self-evident truths. There is nothing I can say or do with a client that they don’t already know on some level; yet I can bring empirical psycho-spiritual approaches and best practice to support clients where the past gives-way and what’s emerging has yet to stabilize and thrive.” – Chris Menné MA Transpersonal Psychology

Rates, and methods applied are available here.

Contact

email: chris@beingbasedrelating.com

 Schedule a free no obligation inquiry/consultation with Chris here.

To experience aspects of relating more from Presence and Being and less from ego in a group setting, BeingBasedRelating also hosts, “Sharing the Witness.” Regularly scheduled Conscious Relating Practice Groups held in person and online.

Click on this box to learn more about “Sharing the Witness” – small Conscious Relating Practice Groups offered by BeingBasedRelatng – new inquiries welcome